i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
