I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
