You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
