I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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