We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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