a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He better not be in your backpack
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
