Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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