Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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