There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
