if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Still dying that you shit outside
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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