i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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