look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
