Umm I'm too high to move.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
