Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
