Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
