We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
