How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
