You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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