she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
