i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
