Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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