i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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