K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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