Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
