Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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