and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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