I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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