You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
