Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
