Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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