I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
