it wasn't lemon gatorade
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
