brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My dick has a subreddit
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
