Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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