If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I need to sanitize my soul.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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