i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i think my mom watched the whole time
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
