ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we're making bets on your personal life
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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