Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
