last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
