when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
