fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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