yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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