does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
