Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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