This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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