how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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