if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I can text with my tongue
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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