Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
