miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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