whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
