you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
