And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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